Liked in 14 : GeoWars3

fig(i) The Lights!

Bullet pointing to give the impression I'm a busy boy rather than just too lazy to write it all out proper like. Here we go! This game has my attention I just don't know if I like it or not.

First of all:

The Good

  • The lights! Gorgeously pretty 60hz assault on the senses
  • Music, the GW theme and a bunch of new tunes beautifully recorded
  • Same old GW responsive control, allowing you to do the odd impossible thing. Always a rush
  • Multi platform! One of the rare few who prefers a PS pad over Microsoft's offerings
  • Topological challenge! Despite initial fears transferring from planes to 3D shapes -mostly- works

fig(ii) Impossible feats @ 0:31

The Bad

  • Adventure mode
    • Lots of activities but that just doesn't seem in the spirit of 10p a go arcade fun
    • Get the feeling the team realized no one played the many modes of GW
    • So thought they'd force them on the player
    • "Just ignore that stuff Gaz! Play the classic mode the game comes with!"
    • Well yeah, no one is on those leader boards. And it's all about the leader boards yeah?
  • Game Design Gaffa Tape
    • Boss battles in particular, feels like bodge on top of bodge
    • Outrun style timers and boss invulnerability don't feel good
    • Horrible you can kill the boss but not win the level
    • Or get a star without killing the boss
      • Bizarre have previous on this
      • Always found it weird you could win a race in Gotham but get flip all kudos
    • Red discs also a good example of badly tacked on player hurrying
  • Gold Coin Pick Ups that kill you? Super State pickups are look just like Mario coins except it's instant death if you hungry dog them
  • Takes a while to get used to badly sign posted enemies warping in

And the Ugly

  • Angry Bird star awards at the end of each level.
  • Star locked later levels - go back and grind for more stars son
  • Nasty difficulty spike on final level boss
  • Topological challenge! Mostly works but when it doesn't? Steps on zone outs horribly. Basically cubes can fuck off
  • The price - it just seems a bit much
    • There's a whole load of interesting stuff going on here
    • The credit list is massive, absolutely huge
    • And the game is beautifully finished as well
    • I really wonder how much it cost to make this game
    • And if it'll ever make that money back
    • The leader boards are pretty bar
    • And they cleverly launched the same week as GTA V
    • I really hope there'll be more and more from this franchise
    • But I can't understand how the whole thing adds up
    • Particularly for a extremely commercially aggressive company like Activision


It's fair to say I've enjoyed Geometry Wars 3 far more than the above would suggest; it's a just a lot harder to vocalise the fun rather than annoyances. I've absolutely played the bollocks off of this thing and using time spent as a measure there's obviously something there for me. That said I've eat a shit tonne of Pot Noodle and watched industrial quantities of Jeremy Kyle in the past well. So I dunno.

It's kind of like your awesome, beautiful girlfriend got a really shit hair cut. She's still awesome and beautiful but in certain lights she's got you wincing.

Score: 1 out 1

(1? BUY IT! 0, don't)